What I have learnt of being human and an Actor.

One thing about doing a show that you don’t get paid for is the time spent on rehearsals and learning lines. I have to admit that this was quite a challenge for me as an actor and as a person. Acting is not for sissies. My sister-in-law said to me the other day,”I don’t know how you can remember all those lines.” I could say the same with her hip hop dancing. I would never remember the complicated moves that she comes up with. Then again, with enough rehearsals, I’m sure something will happen.

 

The reason why I struggled through these rehearsals is that it wasn’t the only project that I was learning lines for. I had my college production as well and being in my 3rd and final year at college, I had more lines to learn as well as other monologues for my final practical exam at the end of the year. Yes, my college does say that we are not allowed to do shows outside of college. This would be my 4th one, I thought I could manage it but I was seriously mistaken. I had spent every waking day learning lines for each project, marking on the calendar which project to learn lines for and which is more important at that moment. This gave me sleepless nights, panic attacks and massive self doubt. I had a friend from college telling me that she didn’t understand why I was having such a problem with it. This in turn made me think that I am a bad actor and this shouldn’t be something that I should pursue, even though I had quite my job 2 years ago and I’m now 31 years old.

I would dread rehearsals for this show as I would know these lines, but they weren’t come out and my mouth was too slow for my brain that was on hyper speed. I wasn’t eating either as mind were on the lines.Tuesday was a bad rehearsal. Luckily I am on holiday so I have time to work on my lines but when Wednesday came, I became very emotional and felt so shut off from the world, crying for no reason, being irritated by everybody and everything. I went to bed round about 11:30pm and woke up at round about 7 that next day. I mean 7 at night. I had slept the whole day. Friday was no different, at least I woke up at 3 in the afternoon. What was wrong with me? Saturday was no different from Tuesday’s rehearsal and my most understanding director, Barrie Howard, hit the nail on the head.

I was burning a candle at both ends. I had come to realize that I had no balance in my life. I was home learning lines and going to rehearsals and failing every time. I didn’t go out to socialize because the guilt of time spent should have been on my lines. My wonderful co-star, Tash, had invited me over for the afternoon before an evening rehearsal. It was a day well spent on discussions about characters and where they are going within the story. Watched snippets of movies with similar story lines to compare and discussed the difference we saw. I can tell you that break served me well when it came to rehearsal that night. Come Saturday afternoon, I went to rehearsal without my script and performed like I was being paid. I know these lines. Its in my head. I know them. Its the belief that I do is the important thing.

I had spent so much time pretending to be other people that I had forgotten to be human. I forgot to be me.This is where you need a healthy balance. Yes, I have many issues that I’m not yet ready to write about that was added to my depression experienced a few weeks ago but it was aggravated by my insecurities to my acting. You need to make sure that the work you do does not consume you. Yes, I love acting but I’m more than my acting. You get those stereotypical actors who live, breathe, sleep acting or anything to do with theatre, but I can’t live like that. You need spend some time outside the box you had created. See friends, go somewhere. I learned the hard way. Your brain is a magnificent thing and needs to be constantly stimulated. You will also need to figure out what gets you going besides acting. Your brain also needs a rest. Check out the poster of the show I’m in and maybe, I’ll see you after the show.

“The Barretts of Wimpole Street” opens at the Masque Theatre, Muizenberg, on Friday 22 July 2016. Written in 1930, this production is playwright Rudolf Besier’s biggest success of his career. It’s a tale of romance inspired by the true-life love story of Elizabeth Barrett and Robert Browning. The setting is 1845, and Elizabeth is an invalid after suffering a riding accident which, it was said, injured her spine. From her sofa she has corresponded with many of the great literary figures of the day and written poetry, which has been acclaimed as great. However, her frailty has denied her any mobility and normal life at all. Like an enchanted prince, Robert Browning comes to break the prison walls. Admiration for her work leads him to Elizabeth and his love for her seems to instill vitality into her. They wish to marry, but their greatest obstacle, is not Elizabeth’s health but her father, whose tyrannical attitude to his children seems to ruin any chance of happiness.

The large cast features several names that are well-known to Masque audiences, including John McConnell, Jane Cohen, Erika Marais, Dennis Benneyworth, Wayne Ronné and Aubrey Hindle. Directing this beautiful period piece is CATA winner Barrie Howard, who was last seen at the Masque at the helm of the Valentine’s Soiree in 2015 and the hugely successful “Cat on a Hot Tin Roof” in 2014. “The Barretts of Wimpole Street” is presented by Fish Hoek Dramatic Society and is their first production for 2016. Last year, this society brought us the hilarious comedy “The Sunshine Boys” and the thriller “House Guest”. “The Barretts of Wimpole Street” opens at the Masque Theatre, Muizenberg, on Friday 22 July and runs until Saturday 30 July – excluding Sunday to Wednesday. Book through Masque Theatre Bookings on 021 788 1898 (weekdays from 9:00-16:00 and Saturdays from 9:00-12:00). Alternatively, you can email bookings@masquetheatre.co.za.